October 31, 2010

Never try to compel others to change; leave them free to change naturally and orderly because they want to, and they will want to when they find that your change was worthwhile.

To inspire in others a desire to change for the better is truly noble; but this you can do only by leaving them alone, and becoming more noble yourself.

Halloween

Halloween is a very sad time for me.  Halloween represents my mothers birthday whom is no longer with us.  It has been 22 long hard and painful years since her passing.  I miss her more now than ever before as I watch my children grow into adults because she never got to see three of them. 

I often fell cheated because I did not get to know her parents and now my children will never know their grandmother.  I sometimes even question god as to why did he have to take her from me and leave my children without a grandmother.  Yes they had a grandmother on their fathers side but she just passed away also so they really don't have a Nana now.  I feel sad because they don't have a grandmother who they can visit and do special things with that children look forward to when they go to grandma house.

I have a very small family and the holidays are very painful for me because I always like big family gatherings and I have never had the pleasure of having that.  So the last three months of the year brings me down and even though I try to put on a brave face for my children the pain inside is sometimes unbearable.  I wish things were different and my children could have experienced family gatherings with lots of family members.

My darling mother I miss you more today than yesterday and I know you are looking down on us but I sure wish you were here to celebrate your birthday.  Happy Birthday Mommy and god knows I miss you so much.  You left me way to soon and I cry quietly for the void you have left in my heart and family.

Virtual learning

I would first like to start this off by saying when I first decided to go back to school I chose online because I had not been in school for over 30 years and I was a bit intimidated at going to school on campus.  I felt that online learning was best for me because I could learn at my on pace.

I have been at Kaplan University for 2 years now (well I have just started my second year) and I am quite happy with my chose.

The anonymity is not something that I am pleased with but I feel as though we get to know our classmates and Professors over the course of ten weeks and you do get to form a bond with them.

I do feel that the self directed course outline is great because it does allow me to work at my own pace and it does show that I am learning from this type of environment , although hard I am keeping up and enjoying working by myself to achieve my degree.

Wendesday October 27, 2010

Congratulations on completing your term on the DEAN’S HONORS list. You should be very proud of your HARD WORK and Dedication to complete your degree. And before you know it, YOU will be graduating and starting a new career. Another term Well Done!!!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK! From my Kaplan Advisor

Tuesday October 26, 2010

♥ I may not be the most beautiful, or the sexiest, nor do I have the perfect body. I might not be everyone's first choice, but i'm a great choice. I don't pretend to be someone that i'm not, because i'm good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things i've done in the past, but i'm proud of who I am today!! Take me as I am or ...watch me walk away! Post this if you are proud of being u. ♥

Monday October 25, 2010

Beginning to ask questions about life is a sign you are having a major breakthrough.

The Truth of Life is right here for everybody, as it has always been, but only the ones who ask questions receive the answers and discover the truth.  When we ask questions, deeply wanting to know the answers, we will attract the answers in a form that we can understand.

To receive answers in life, you must begin to ask.

Sunday October 24, 2010

The greatest revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

Saturday October 23, 2010

Each of is attracting in every moment of our lives.  So when you feel that the law isn't working for you because you don't have what you want, realize that the law is responding to you.  You are either attracting what you want or you are attracting the absence of what you want.

The law is still working.

How profound is this.

Love don't live here anymore

Was listening to the radio and heard this song, how profound was it.  It just reminded me that I have not loved anyone beside my children and myself in the last 10 years.  Love has not been my friend for a long time.  Last time I loved I spent five years in a relationship and then it was all gone in a matter of minutes.  Made me very bitter but I want to love again just do not know how. So afraid of the pain coming again.  I know I should not judge past relationships with presents but I can't seem to get the courage or strength to start a new relationship without wondering when will the bottom fall out of this. 

How do you get past the pain and open yourself for love again?  Wish I knew.

2nd week 2nd year

As we begin our second week of a new term it brings all kinds of mixed emotions.  You start to look at the work load and wonder if you are up to it and can you do enough to pass.  I am excubert about this term as with the past and also nervous but I am sure will prevail.

Have a blessed week.

Sunday

Whatever feelings you have within you are attracting your tomorrow.

Worry attracts more worry.  Anxiety attracts more anxiety.  Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness.  Dissatisfaction attracts more dissatisfaction.

And...

Joy attracts more joy.  Happiness attracts more happiness.  Peace attracts more peace.  Gratitude attracts more gratitude.  Kindness attracts more kindness.  Love attracts more love.

Your job is an inside one.  To change your world, all you have to do is change the way you feel inside.  How easy is that?

Saturday (what happened)

Today was not a good day for me.  I got into a big argument with my son all of 20 years.  it came to the point that I have asked toleave my home and I am not really happy with that decision but I have to draw the line at some point and demand my respect.

Please tell me what would you do if your 20 year old child disrespected you with words and then disrepected his 16 year old sister.  (let me just say he said some ugly things that was not called for without going into it further)?

Weekends

I spend my weekends working on school work and catching up with my daughter I also enjoy cooking and just relaxing.  What do you like to do on your weekends?

Embracing Our Past

Well I have had the pleasure of bringing my past into my future for a short time.  Some one that I was married to over thiryt years ago called me out of the blue today.  Was shocked to say the least.  Really was not sure why he chose this time, this day and at that moment to call me but he did.  We talked for a really long time and I realized when I got off the phone why I left him in the first place.  It seemed to me that he had not change in over thirty years and was stuck back in a time warp that not a come full circle yet.  Wow when we sit back and look at some of the decisions we made I often wonder what was I thinking.  Glad I did realize that I was not going to be his forever or till death do us part before it was too late.  I wish you well Stanley but do not invade my life again please.

The miners are rescued

It has given me great joy to learn that after 69 days the miners were rescused and now they can get back to living their lives and reunite with their family.

Second year in college

As I begin my second year here at Kaplan University it never seems to amaze that 30 weeks ago I had no college credits and I was nervous about going back to school and then online at that.  I have manage to obtain the Dean's List twice and the President's List once.  I am truly blessed at this time in my life.